I'm down almost 50 lbs. The weight loss has been very consistent and it's been generally pretty easy to follow this program. But there are those times...
The program is 5 Medifast "meals" and 1 "lean & green" meal (1 serving of healthy protein, 3 servings of low-carb veggies). So I eat 4 MF meals throughout the work day, come home have the lean & green, then have my last MF meal in the evening. Most of the time I have my L&G and I feel satisfied. It's a reasonable amount of food. But. There are those times when it's not enough and I want to keep eating. I think about my last measly MF meal (consisting of 100 calories as they all do) and feel a tinge of panic. This is all I get to eat for the rest of the day? What if I get really really hungry? I want more!
I have come to the conclusion that I'll probably always want more. Just in general - when it comes to food I am never satisfied. If I'm eating, I want more of whatever it is, and three other things besides. If I'm not eating, I definitely want to be eating. I just always want more food. Even when I'm not hungry, if I let myself entertain the thought of food I really really want to be eating food. Is this a sickness? Why am I like that?
Something to ponder.
When it comes to weight loss, I also want more... I want to be thin immediately. I can't just be happy that I lost a buttload of weight - 50 lbs is nothing to sneeze at! I want to shop in the "normal" sizes and wear a 10 or 12, preferably right now. I mean how fantastic would that be? But will I feel "done" or will I still be dissatisfied?
Weight is just...weight. It doesn't dictate the quality of my life - I mean ok it does, but not to the degree that I think it does. Weight doesn't determine if I'm happy in my job or even what job I have. It doesn't determine whether I'm dating. It doesn't determine whether I use my gym membership or let it gather dust. I give it a lot of power, though. Weight dictates my level of confidence - the lower the weight, the higher my feeling of self-worth. Is this something I can change? And if I lose weight and keep it off, does it even matter?
